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Friday, October 12, 2012

Overwhelmed With Too Much Brain Activity

I had an eye-opening experience a week or so ago when I went to a local "new age" shop in my town for a "soul reading".  It was well worth the money, and had a huge impact on me and how I feel about myself and what I should be doing with my life.  

Now to implement the plan.  Only problem is, the plan is a jumbled mess in my head, and I feel like I have no time to do anything but think about the jumbled mess in my head!  I'd like to take a 3 month sabbatical from my life if that would be ok with everyone.  I'd like to take a walking journey around Europe, find some spiritually charged places, and learn to mellow out and create some space in my head where I can hear my thoughts.  That's not too much to ask, is it?

But I can't.  Work, life, and everything else is taking up my time.  I feel breathless with anxiety over all this!  In trying to become a bit more coherent in my head, I've decided to try and read a few books on calming down and finding myself--examining myself.  I don't like to think too much about my "real" feelings, so they just sit in the back, giving me a gut ache and making me eat when I don't need to--a bit of emotional eating, perhaps?  



My friend C-Joy recommended an author:  Brene Brown, and her book The The Gifts of Imperfection


 It's about embracing who you are, and getting rid of those feelings about who you think you should be.  I've given a copy to my sister, and we plan on reading it and talking about it over chinese food at some later date.  Ms. Brown also has another book that's just out, called Daring Greatly.  She's been at the TED conference as a speaker, and I believe you can YouTube her speeches.  I will be checking them out soon.  

So I am starting somewhere.  I am exploring who I want to be, and stopping the merry-go-round and the I'm-just-fine-go-round.  I'll be talking about this a lot in the next few weeks, so beware!  My birthday is next month, and I feel that it's a great opportunity to stop, check in, and work on myself.  Quite frankly, I'm pooped from the anxiety, whether I understand that it's a regular occurrence or not.  My guts are manifesting that icky feeling.  I guess I'm looking for my happy place.  It's somewhere, I just don't know where--or how it should manifest itself in my life.

Hold onto your hats!  I'm going on a journey of exploration of all things touchy feely for me.  This includes meditation, great music to chill out to, and learning how to follow my intuition--heck--I'd like to find my intuition.  A year of feeling caught up in chaos has taken it's toll on me--now it's time to find some clarity.  I'm going to unplug that phone, shut off the computer, and do some writing.  It may all be nonsense, but I'm a nonsensical kind of gal, and I think out of all that, some gem will pop out.  2013 is the Year of Sue!

6 comments:

  1. I think his is a great thing for you to b doing. It is so important to listen when your soul tells you you need something.
    If you need to take an hour and go somewhere lovely and meditate, do it.
    Sometimes we get so busy doing, we forget about looking after #1

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    1. Thanks Mynx. I wish I had your talent for painting! That must be a great way to express yourself and meditate at the same time. I'm still searching for my talent.

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  2. Hooray! Brene is doing a podcast read along with Daring Greatly -you can get them thru itunes or thru links on her website :D

    And FYI, I'm sure I could make myself available during your 3 month walking tour of Europe....

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    1. It goes without saying that you will accompany me anywhere I go outside of the United States.

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  3. Those books both sound great - I will definitely have to check them out. You should seriously think about how to swing a sabbatical in Europe. That sounds absolutely fantastic. And healthy!!

    And um, not to make this about me or anything....I know you said you were going to unplug the computer, but you ARE going to take us on your journey with you, right? So "we" can learn along with you? I hope so!! :)

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    1. Nora! You know I'll be keeping the computer plugged in so I can share all the wisdom I will absorb through these books! I am sure there will be a lot to learn. And yes, I would love to hang out in Europe for a few months, but Chicago may be as far as i get :P

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