I had a very interesting 90 minute "spiritual reading" last week at a local center that provides some amazing "new agey" services to our community. I love this place. It is tranquil, loving, and always smells good. And the staff is wonderful. The results of my reading have kept me thinking about it for days, and set me on a path towards opening up parts of my life that are horribly blocked and under-utilized. My creativity, expressive power, and journey to embracing my gifts has been at an all-time low, but I've got that kick in the pants I needed and it has energized me with all the possibilities that will come my way if I just work at it.
So I'm working at it. I'm continuing my meditations--which I love! I am looking at ways to be creative--even a little bit--every day. Small steps towards bigger things. And I've become very aware of what is blocking my progress, and working on eliminating those blocks and replacing them with my own personal power.
It may sound hokey to some, but to me it's amazing. If only we could all be at our absolute best, the world would be even more of an amazing place. I'm spending this year working on my inner self. And as that opens up and improves, the physical self will follow.
Here are some of the tools I'm using to help me along the way:
Brene' Brown has been recommended by two friends of mine. She also has many videos on YouTube that I'll be looking into soon. I bought The Gifts of Imperfection last September for my sister Patti and I to read and discuss together. Sadly, that didn't happen. I have Patti's copy on my nightstand and a pen already underlining key phrases in the book. I am going to give my other copy to someone I think needs it, as well. Needless to say, she is very much in my thoughts as I read this book. I've only read a chapter, but it's already resonating with me very much and I can't help but think this would have made an impact on Patti's feelings about herself.
And for the creative part: Zentangle. My friend C-Joy first mentioned this to me many months ago, and I decided that Bud needed to make this a Christmas present. My Bud loves me--he not only bought me the book I requested, but got me a sketch pad, colored pencils, and the good 'ol #2 pencils you need for this exploration of "tangling".
I've only just started this last night, so we'll see how it goes. From the looks of my first attempt, I have ample opportunity to improve!
What are you doing that's new in 2013?
I had an eye-opening experience a week or so ago when I went to a local "new age" shop in my town for a "soul reading". It was well worth the money, and had a huge impact on me and how I feel about myself and what I should be doing with my life.
Now to implement the plan. Only problem is, the plan is a jumbled mess in my head, and I feel like I have no time to do anything but think about the jumbled mess in my head! I'd like to take a 3 month sabbatical from my life if that would be ok with everyone. I'd like to take a walking journey around Europe, find some spiritually charged places, and learn to mellow out and create some space in my head where I can hear my thoughts. That's not too much to ask, is it?
But I can't. Work, life, and everything else is taking up my time. I feel breathless with anxiety over all this! In trying to become a bit more coherent in my head, I've decided to try and read a few books on calming down and finding myself--examining myself. I don't like to think too much about my "real" feelings, so they just sit in the back, giving me a gut ache and making me eat when I don't need to--a bit of emotional eating, perhaps?
My friend C-Joy recommended an author: Brene Brown, and her book The The Gifts of Imperfection.
It's about embracing who you are, and getting rid of those feelings about who you think you should be. I've given a copy to my sister, and we plan on reading it and talking about it over chinese food at some later date. Ms. Brown also has another book that's just out, called Daring Greatly. She's been at the TED conference as a speaker, and I believe you can YouTube her speeches. I will be checking them out soon.
So I am starting somewhere. I am exploring who I want to be, and stopping the merry-go-round and the I'm-just-fine-go-round. I'll be talking about this a lot in the next few weeks, so beware! My birthday is next month, and I feel that it's a great opportunity to stop, check in, and work on myself. Quite frankly, I'm pooped from the anxiety, whether I understand that it's a regular occurrence or not. My guts are manifesting that icky feeling. I guess I'm looking for my happy place. It's somewhere, I just don't know where--or how it should manifest itself in my life.
Hold onto your hats! I'm going on a journey of exploration of all things touchy feely for me. This includes meditation, great music to chill out to, and learning how to follow my intuition--heck--I'd like to find my intuition. A year of feeling caught up in chaos has taken it's toll on me--now it's time to find some clarity. I'm going to unplug that phone, shut off the computer, and do some writing. It may all be nonsense, but I'm a nonsensical kind of gal, and I think out of all that, some gem will pop out. 2013 is the Year of Sue!
