Life Changes Are Good Even When They Scare The Bejesus Out of You

So....I am making a big change in my life.  It is a good, positive change.  It is a change that is clearly a move onto a new path, since every sign I've seen along this road has directed me onward in a new direction.  Now all that's left is getting past the "oh shit!" of it all, and embracing that fear, knowing I'll be okay and get through it.  I've had so many times in my life where I thought "I can't possibly do that!" and then I've done it, and wondered why I put up such a fuss.  Fear can do that to you.  It makes you doubt yourself.  

But fear can also be a kick in the pants, and make me angry for being afraid.  Over what?  Not much.  Afraid to fail, afraid I've made a bad choice.  At least I've made a choice, right?  And one that feels concrete, solid, and blessed.

I am starting Graduate school next month.  And continuing to work full-time.  I hope this can be done; it must be done financially.  This whirlwind started in March, and in June I was accepted to school.  I was waaaaay past the February deadline, but somehow a belief in it happening and some help along the way by fantastic people got me in the program.  Passing the GRE was the first step.  Can I just say my brain hurt afterwards?  And I still suck at math.  I wish I didn't.  I feel like there is some secret code to math that I haven't figured out yet, and if only I did, I would be good at it.  

I had wonderful people write me letters of recommendation; I don't know what they said, but whatever it was, it worked.  The School of Library and Information Science at the University of Iowa decided to take a chance on a 46 year old woman and take me into this program.  I haven't been to school in 19 years; last time I wrote a paper, it was on a typewriter.  I went to small colleges; the U of I is huge and requires me parking in a lot, and taking a bus to the library for my classes.  

I don't know how I will come out of this life change.  I expect I will learn some incredible things about life and myself while attending school.  I know it is never too late to try something new.  I have the unwavering support of my main cheerleader, Bud.  He is so happy I'm making a change.  That change will take a few years, so you'll be hearing about it all the time here on my blog.  It has given me a spark in my attitude, my job, and my life.  It has given me a goal to work towards.  My brain will be rattled, shaken, and stirred.  It's time to learn  something new and stretch my thinking muscles.  I didn't realize how bored I was with my life.  And quite frankly, until my sister Patti died last year, I was fairly content.  Not supremely happy, but okay with life.  

But now I know life can be too short, and I have more to do.  

My blog will be changing just a bit, as I will be writing about school, work, and life.  The challenges and surprises along this journey.  The sick feeling in my stomach as I go to school on my first day.  I never did like the first day of school--ever!  How will I balance school and work, and Bud?  And both my blogs?  I don't know.  All I do know is that I will come out the other end.  And I suspect I will have a lot of help along the way.

Book Review: Running Like A Girl by Alexandra Heminsley

If you've been reading my blog for a few years, you know I have been running for years.  Lately those running sessions have been few and far between, and as I've gotten older I've become slower and heavier.  

I found this book on Net Galley and just had to read it, and found someone who wrote a book just for me.  Running Like a Girl is Alexandra's true tale of how she got off her duff, started running, completed a marathon, and found herself sitting on the couch again and not running.

That is me.  Except I don't sit on the couch, I lay on it as I read books or take a nap.

What makes this book different from other running books is what really hit home for me while I was reading it last night.   I don't want to spend all of my runs thinking about how fast I have to run, negative splits, fartleks, or planning my meals for the next week around long runs.  I just want to enjoy the run, see the sights, and finish feeling tired and achy but knowing I just did my body and mind a world of good. 

 Alexandra readily admits to working her ass off to run a marathon (with the help of her dad and brother) and even raises money for a charity in order to feel good about her suffering through training for 6 months.  But after that triumph, the glow faded; she found herself running less and less until she stopped.  Somehow she did take up running again, and has run more marathons and half marathons since then.  Running is now part of her life.  What she found out about herself and running really hit a chord for me, and made me feel that I wasn't alone in the post-race let down and inability to keep running and being enthusiastic about it.  But you can always, always, put those shoes on and begin running again.  It is never too late, and you are never too out of shape or too anything to not try it again.  

The second half of the book is about some running advice she's learned over the years--simple stuff, but great for a novice or someone who doesn't know a lot of runners and is a bit intimidated about buying shoes or a running bra.  We all know when we're out running there is always someone who runs faster, looks fab in their work out clothes, and never seems to work hard while piling up the miles.  But for the rest of us who struggle through every run, want to give up, and can't afford to spend money on matchy matchy anything, this is a great uplifting book that will get you off the couch and out the door.

Rating:  7/10 for humor, brutal honesty, and an easy read.

Available in October in hardcover and e-book.

Flowers That Managed To Stay Alive In My Backyard & 4th of July

This summer has certainly been much more damp than last summer, when we didn't have rain for oh, around 6 weeks.  Now a week doesn't go by without some kind of storm, downpour, or flood warning.  

Somehow the native plants I have in my garden just keep on growing, taking their licks and ignoring the erratic weather and my lack of tender loving care.

I had family over for 4th of July and it was so wonderful to hold babies and have fun with my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews:

Me and my nephew Ryan

Sis Michelle and our nephew Henry:  what a doll!

Niece Miss Rose and Nephew Noah--best pals

The weather was perfect, the bugs behaved for most of the party, and I bribed the kids with sidewalk chalk and bubbles and they were all happy.  Bud was my grill master and I ate too much cake, but sweated out all the beer I drank.  All in all, a good day and my flowers provided a beautiful background to family chaos.  Once again, I am so appreciative of having such a large family!  Can't imagine life without all my brothers and sisters and their kiddies (and their kiddies' kiddies).

Summer Sun (Finally!!) And The Workout That Wasn't Meant To Be

We've had 4 days in a row of sunny, warm days and wonderful evenings here in Iowa.  This is a record, since this hasn't happened since last summer.  Plants are growing like crazy and happy to see the sun.  I am happy to see the sun come up at 5:30 in the morning, cause it means I can get up early and run.  There is nothing like running early in the morning, when the air is cool, there's no one around, and the day is new.  It makes you feel like you actually did something with your day even if it ends up taking a nosedive.  And you can relax at night, knowing you worked out super early.  I would like to run at night, but I have horrible night vision and would end up tripping over a curb, running into a parked car, and probably a light pole.  

I was super excited to sign up for a new course at the YMCA called Y360.  It was basically a 3 day a week 45 minute workout using tires, ropes, kettle bells, and my pure muscle strength (insert sarcasm).  It was also at 5:45 in the morning.  It was tough to get up, but once I was up and out the door, it felt good to be up and motivated early.  And it was an excuse to get coffee on the way home.

Except I was the only person who showed up.  THE ONLY PERSON TO SHOW UP AT ALL EVER.  Out of 3 YMCA's in the community, no one else paid and joined the class.  What the hell?

So my teacher, Lynn, worked out with me for those 3 days last week.  We worked outside and she tried to kill me, but I survived.  It was decided that if no one else joined, the course would be cancelled.  And it was.  Crap.

I'm back doing Body Pump and again contemplating doing Cross Fit.  And each week I tell myself I have to run x number of miles, and every week I don't.  Life is getting in the way of my running.  I haven't made it a priority, and I need to do that for my peace of mind, my giggly gut, and my legs that really really need to muscle up.  

What are you doing to stay fit this summer?  Have you tried a new fitness class?  Do you do Cross Fit?  

This is me after 5 minutes of exercise

Breakfast Made Easy-Peasy

I know I'm late to the party, but I finally bought a microwave egg-cooker a few months ago.  And can I say I love it?  I can use it to make a gigantic egg poofy breakfast with 2 eggs,  or just use one egg to make something that will fit on an english muffin.  I've used it to make egg, cheese, and ham sandwiches, and today I made a tomato, basil, and parmesan cheese poofy egg breakfast.  I call the eggs poofy 'cause they rise up so high it's amazing!

This is something your kids can use to make their own breakfast, too.  Or your hubby, or significant other.  It takes the excuse out of "I don't have time for breakfast."  Yes you do.  It takes about 2 minutes to cook your egg.  Long enough for you to pour a cup of coffee and take a sip or two.  

It's good to make a homemade breakfast for yourself.  Makes you feel like you have a handle on your day before you leave the house.  And it's definitely less than a drive-through or a donut shop.

So if you don't have a microwave egg cooker, go get one!  They're cheap (under $10) and you can get them at Target, Walmart, and everywhere else.  Easy clean up, too.  

The wondrous egg machine!

Trying On Clothes Makes Me Want To Drink

I think that every clothing store should have a bar set up in the dressing room so those of us who don't fit into any of the clothes we try on can get a shot of alcohol.  This will keep us from ripping out our hair and gnashing our teeth.  I almost did both of those today trying to find shorts. 

It is hard for me to look at myself in the mirror anymore.  My legs are so heavy and gross looking that it shocks me to think they are my legs.  I always had "chicken legs" and never gave a thought to wearing shorts.  Now I don't want to wear shorts.  I am in denial.  I don't know how my legs got so fat--but I'm guessing that a metabolism that has come to a complete halt is part of the problem.  And I don't exercise regularly, that's for sure.  It's got me starting to look at everyone's legs, no matter how old they are, to compare mine to theirs.  

I think of how many miles I would have to run to slim down my legs; how many pump classes I have to take each week to build that muscle and burn that fat.  It's depressing.  

I have shorts from last year, but they don't fit.  They're about 4 pounds off the mark for me to wear them.  I can sit at home and ponder this for days, but the only solution is to get off my ass and work harder than I ever have to carve away at those fat legs.  I understand women are too hard on themselves and how they look.  I get that.  I can be like that, too.  But I don't think I'm being too hard on myself this time.  I wasn't hard enough before when I should have been seeing the signs of inactivity, eating too much, and aging.  

I have taken a step that is guaranteed to make me feel like a complete wimp, crabby, and teary:  an 8 week course through the YMCA that is similar to Cross-fit.  It meets 3 times a week from 5:45 AM to 6:30 AM outside.  We'll be tossing tires, working with ropes, kettle bells, and all sorts of other painful methods of exercise.  I've already paid, so I'm locked into this adventure.  It starts June 10th.  I am excited to challenge myself--and maybe this will be the thing that helps me see results and sets me on a path to better health.  

So, I still want bars in dressing rooms.  I only think that is fair.  And fix the damn lighting, will ya?  I have never looked so old and washed out in my life!

Find it here

Where, Oh Where Did May Go? And How To Get Lost At A Race

I know.  I haven't posted in forever.  That's because my life in May was pretty uneventful.  I think the most exciting thing I did was run on the wrong course for my 5K last weekend.  Yep.  

My sister and I signed up for the Marion Arts Festival months ago to run the half marathon.  Then we realized how ill-prepared we were (as in no running/training) so we changed it to the 5K.  We could do that.  

We walk to the event last Saturday morning--it was perfect outside, but promised to be pretty warm and muggy later on in the day.  My sister lives very close to downtown Marion, so the walk only took a few minutes.  We wandered around, waiting for the start.  Can I say there were an enormous amount of people waiting to run?  Giant hordes.  The race is no long a small race, which takes a lot of the fun out of it.  I miss that about this race.  

We followed the swell of people who were walking over to another street to start the race.  Ok.  It was so loud we couldn't hear much of anything, and everyone was wearing the same race bibs, so no distinction between half marathon and 5K runners. Boom!  We are off and running.  

We ran the wrong course.  For 5 frickin' miles, people.  I hit the 3 mile mark and was waaaaay out in the middle of nowhere--not running past Walgreen's and through the finish line.  My sister had run ahead of me, so I had no idea where she was.  I figured out I was on the wrong course pretty quickly, but had no option but to keep moving forward.  I was a bit freaked out--no cell phone, no way to find my sister.  And I was pretty far from the finish line.  

I turned a corner, and saw my sister standing at the water stop.  Phew.  She was with another woman who was also on the wrong course.  A pretty cool dude at the water stop was trying to find a sag wagon to pick us up.  Guess what?  There wasn't one.  He said there were many people who had made the same mistake, so we didn't feel too stupid.  

We started walking back since there wasn't any option for a ride.  We didn't get far when a man driving a U-Haul picking up cones offered us a ride back into Marion.  We gladly accepted.  And he too, said many people had taken the wrong route.  He dropped us off near my sister's house and we walked home.  We never even made it back downtown, never crossed the finish line, never got to eat goodies afterwards.  Phooey.

I have never run on a wrong course before in a race.  The actual 5K was on the opposite side of Marion from where we ran, and started at the same time.  There were no clear directions, we couldn't hear announcements, and nothing at all in my goodie bag about course maps or instructions.  Boo.  I really think races must always include maps of the courses and information about the race in the bags we pick up for the race.  Bud has used those maps many times when he's ridden his bike along with me as I run the races.  Race officials shouldn't expect participants to print off information on the internet.  

In good news, the annual 8K race on July 4th is going to be back downtown this year, so I plan on running it--after taking the last 3 years off.  I love this race.  There was major construction in downtown Cedar Rapids for the past few years due to the 2008 flood, and streets were blocked off.  Moving the race sucked and I didn't like the new course.  It was my mini-protest.  But it's back on the old route this year, so I am happy!  I'm going to sign up!  I have one month to be able to run 5 miles.  I have work to do.  

May has been an extremely busy month, for reasons I can't share right now.  Needless to say, my reading, flower planting, and usual Spring clean up have been delayed and I'm getting antsy to move it along.  Memorial weekend I am finally going to buy flowers, get some herbs planted, and set up the back patio.  Fingers crossed the weather stays sunny and not so darn rainy.  I'm happy to report my Iris patches are all blooming lovely purple flowers.  My lavender came back and is looking great.  Peony bush is quickly getting ready to bloom lovely giant pink poofs of beauty.  

Next up:  limoncello.  It's just about ready; this weekend I am going to finish it off and fill  the bottles!  Then summer can officially begin.  And so can another batch of limoncello.

How was your May?  Crazy like mine?  What are your plans for June?