Trying On Clothes Makes Me Want To Drink

I think that every clothing store should have a bar set up in the dressing room so those of us who don't fit into any of the clothes we try on can get a shot of alcohol.  This will keep us from ripping out our hair and gnashing our teeth.  I almost did both of those today trying to find shorts. 

It is hard for me to look at myself in the mirror anymore.  My legs are so heavy and gross looking that it shocks me to think they are my legs.  I always had "chicken legs" and never gave a thought to wearing shorts.  Now I don't want to wear shorts.  I am in denial.  I don't know how my legs got so fat--but I'm guessing that a metabolism that has come to a complete halt is part of the problem.  And I don't exercise regularly, that's for sure.  It's got me starting to look at everyone's legs, no matter how old they are, to compare mine to theirs.  

I think of how many miles I would have to run to slim down my legs; how many pump classes I have to take each week to build that muscle and burn that fat.  It's depressing.  

I have shorts from last year, but they don't fit.  They're about 4 pounds off the mark for me to wear them.  I can sit at home and ponder this for days, but the only solution is to get off my ass and work harder than I ever have to carve away at those fat legs.  I understand women are too hard on themselves and how they look.  I get that.  I can be like that, too.  But I don't think I'm being too hard on myself this time.  I wasn't hard enough before when I should have been seeing the signs of inactivity, eating too much, and aging.  

I have taken a step that is guaranteed to make me feel like a complete wimp, crabby, and teary:  an 8 week course through the YMCA that is similar to Cross-fit.  It meets 3 times a week from 5:45 AM to 6:30 AM outside.  We'll be tossing tires, working with ropes, kettle bells, and all sorts of other painful methods of exercise.  I've already paid, so I'm locked into this adventure.  It starts June 10th.  I am excited to challenge myself--and maybe this will be the thing that helps me see results and sets me on a path to better health.  

So, I still want bars in dressing rooms.  I only think that is fair.  And fix the damn lighting, will ya?  I have never looked so old and washed out in my life!

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