School is a mere 3 weeks away, and the butterflies are definitely starting to appear. I have my books, my book bag, and my school ID. I am thankful it doesn't look like my driver's license, which portrays me as a bitter old woman who recently held up a liquor store. At least school lets you smile for your picture!
Yesterday it was announced that: University of Iowa is Number One Party School . They must have known I was going to be a grad student this Fall. I suspect all my drinking will be done at home, and not in the bars around downtown Iowa City. After all, I do need to drive 20 miles home. I will cherish Friday and Saturday nights when I am done working and done with school for the week and can have a friendly cocktail with my sweetie in the comfort of my own home. Lately I've been stuck on the classic cocktail the Old-Fashioned. Not for sissies--it packs a punch. There are many variations, but mostly it's just a few ingredients: bourbon, ice, simple syrup, a bit of water, bitters, an orange slice, and a maraschino cherry. It will put hair on your chest--or if you've already got a hairy chest, check out your back.
I keep getting emails from the SLIS (School of Library and Information Science)--which is great. Only problem is that I don't really have any idea what some of them are about. I expect I will soon unlock the secrets to some of these new terms, ideas, and opportunities. I can't wait to look back on this Fall semester and see how it all panned out. I think my brain will be undergoing a radical change in a few short months.
I had dinner with friends last night, and one said to me "How are you going to read for fun with all this going on?" And my response was "I just will. I will make time." Reading every day is a necessity for me, and a stress coping mechanism. Sometimes (well, mostly every week) I get up an hour early in the morning just so I can read before going to work. I can't seem to read in bed very much without falling asleep. And then I think I'm awake and reading, and wondering why the story has changed so dramatically--then I realize I'm actually lying with my eyes closed and making it all up. I have to say I've impressed myself with those story crafting abilities. Perhaps I should write a book someday? After school, of course.
This time of year, it's all about getting kids ready for school. I like to think about all the adults who are starting school anew; looking at another career path, finishing that degree that was interrupted all those years ago; making that brave decision to step back into academia even if it's just to take classes and fulfill a long desire to attend school. We are nervous, excited, and have our school bags, too. We just have to drive ourselves to school. We don't have anyone holding our hands and taking our pictures. It's a bit of a solitary road but I'm a big girl, and I can do it all by myself. Just make sure there's someone standing at the door on Friday night with a cocktail for me.
So....I am making a big change in my life. It is a good, positive change. It is a change that is clearly a move onto a new path, since every sign I've seen along this road has directed me onward in a new direction. Now all that's left is getting past the "oh shit!" of it all, and embracing that fear, knowing I'll be okay and get through it. I've had so many times in my life where I thought "I can't possibly do that!" and then I've done it, and wondered why I put up such a fuss. Fear can do that to you. It makes you doubt yourself.
But fear can also be a kick in the pants, and make me angry for being afraid. Over what? Not much. Afraid to fail, afraid I've made a bad choice. At least I've made a choice, right? And one that feels concrete, solid, and blessed.
I am starting Graduate school next month. And continuing to work full-time. I hope this can be done; it must be done financially. This whirlwind started in March, and in June I was accepted to school. I was waaaaay past the February deadline, but somehow a belief in it happening and some help along the way by fantastic people got me in the program. Passing the GRE was the first step. Can I just say my brain hurt afterwards? And I still suck at math. I wish I didn't. I feel like there is some secret code to math that I haven't figured out yet, and if only I did, I would be good at it.
I had wonderful people write me letters of recommendation; I don't know what they said, but whatever it was, it worked. The School of Library and Information Science at the University of Iowa decided to take a chance on a 46 year old woman and take me into this program. I haven't been to school in 19 years; last time I wrote a paper, it was on a typewriter. I went to small colleges; the U of I is huge and requires me parking in a lot, and taking a bus to the library for my classes.
I don't know how I will come out of this life change. I expect I will learn some incredible things about life and myself while attending school. I know it is never too late to try something new. I have the unwavering support of my main cheerleader, Bud. He is so happy I'm making a change. That change will take a few years, so you'll be hearing about it all the time here on my blog. It has given me a spark in my attitude, my job, and my life. It has given me a goal to work towards. My brain will be rattled, shaken, and stirred. It's time to learn something new and stretch my thinking muscles. I didn't realize how bored I was with my life. And quite frankly, until my sister Patti died last year, I was fairly content. Not supremely happy, but okay with life.
But now I know life can be too short, and I have more to do.
My blog will be changing just a bit, as I will be writing about school, work, and life. The challenges and surprises along this journey. The sick feeling in my stomach as I go to school on my first day. I never did like the first day of school--ever! How will I balance school and work, and Bud? And both my blogs? I don't know. All I do know is that I will come out the other end. And I suspect I will have a lot of help along the way.
