Trying On Clothes Makes Me Want To Drink

I think that every clothing store should have a bar set up in the dressing room so those of us who don't fit into any of the clothes we try on can get a shot of alcohol.  This will keep us from ripping out our hair and gnashing our teeth.  I almost did both of those today trying to find shorts. 

It is hard for me to look at myself in the mirror anymore.  My legs are so heavy and gross looking that it shocks me to think they are my legs.  I always had "chicken legs" and never gave a thought to wearing shorts.  Now I don't want to wear shorts.  I am in denial.  I don't know how my legs got so fat--but I'm guessing that a metabolism that has come to a complete halt is part of the problem.  And I don't exercise regularly, that's for sure.  It's got me starting to look at everyone's legs, no matter how old they are, to compare mine to theirs.  

I think of how many miles I would have to run to slim down my legs; how many pump classes I have to take each week to build that muscle and burn that fat.  It's depressing.  

I have shorts from last year, but they don't fit.  They're about 4 pounds off the mark for me to wear them.  I can sit at home and ponder this for days, but the only solution is to get off my ass and work harder than I ever have to carve away at those fat legs.  I understand women are too hard on themselves and how they look.  I get that.  I can be like that, too.  But I don't think I'm being too hard on myself this time.  I wasn't hard enough before when I should have been seeing the signs of inactivity, eating too much, and aging.  

I have taken a step that is guaranteed to make me feel like a complete wimp, crabby, and teary:  an 8 week course through the YMCA that is similar to Cross-fit.  It meets 3 times a week from 5:45 AM to 6:30 AM outside.  We'll be tossing tires, working with ropes, kettle bells, and all sorts of other painful methods of exercise.  I've already paid, so I'm locked into this adventure.  It starts June 10th.  I am excited to challenge myself--and maybe this will be the thing that helps me see results and sets me on a path to better health.  

So, I still want bars in dressing rooms.  I only think that is fair.  And fix the damn lighting, will ya?  I have never looked so old and washed out in my life!

Find it here

Where, Oh Where Did May Go? And How To Get Lost At A Race

I know.  I haven't posted in forever.  That's because my life in May was pretty uneventful.  I think the most exciting thing I did was run on the wrong course for my 5K last weekend.  Yep.  

My sister and I signed up for the Marion Arts Festival months ago to run the half marathon.  Then we realized how ill-prepared we were (as in no running/training) so we changed it to the 5K.  We could do that.  

We walk to the event last Saturday morning--it was perfect outside, but promised to be pretty warm and muggy later on in the day.  My sister lives very close to downtown Marion, so the walk only took a few minutes.  We wandered around, waiting for the start.  Can I say there were an enormous amount of people waiting to run?  Giant hordes.  The race is no long a small race, which takes a lot of the fun out of it.  I miss that about this race.  

We followed the swell of people who were walking over to another street to start the race.  Ok.  It was so loud we couldn't hear much of anything, and everyone was wearing the same race bibs, so no distinction between half marathon and 5K runners. Boom!  We are off and running.  

We ran the wrong course.  For 5 frickin' miles, people.  I hit the 3 mile mark and was waaaaay out in the middle of nowhere--not running past Walgreen's and through the finish line.  My sister had run ahead of me, so I had no idea where she was.  I figured out I was on the wrong course pretty quickly, but had no option but to keep moving forward.  I was a bit freaked out--no cell phone, no way to find my sister.  And I was pretty far from the finish line.  

I turned a corner, and saw my sister standing at the water stop.  Phew.  She was with another woman who was also on the wrong course.  A pretty cool dude at the water stop was trying to find a sag wagon to pick us up.  Guess what?  There wasn't one.  He said there were many people who had made the same mistake, so we didn't feel too stupid.  

We started walking back since there wasn't any option for a ride.  We didn't get far when a man driving a U-Haul picking up cones offered us a ride back into Marion.  We gladly accepted.  And he too, said many people had taken the wrong route.  He dropped us off near my sister's house and we walked home.  We never even made it back downtown, never crossed the finish line, never got to eat goodies afterwards.  Phooey.

I have never run on a wrong course before in a race.  The actual 5K was on the opposite side of Marion from where we ran, and started at the same time.  There were no clear directions, we couldn't hear announcements, and nothing at all in my goodie bag about course maps or instructions.  Boo.  I really think races must always include maps of the courses and information about the race in the bags we pick up for the race.  Bud has used those maps many times when he's ridden his bike along with me as I run the races.  Race officials shouldn't expect participants to print off information on the internet.  

In good news, the annual 8K race on July 4th is going to be back downtown this year, so I plan on running it--after taking the last 3 years off.  I love this race.  There was major construction in downtown Cedar Rapids for the past few years due to the 2008 flood, and streets were blocked off.  Moving the race sucked and I didn't like the new course.  It was my mini-protest.  But it's back on the old route this year, so I am happy!  I'm going to sign up!  I have one month to be able to run 5 miles.  I have work to do.  

May has been an extremely busy month, for reasons I can't share right now.  Needless to say, my reading, flower planting, and usual Spring clean up have been delayed and I'm getting antsy to move it along.  Memorial weekend I am finally going to buy flowers, get some herbs planted, and set up the back patio.  Fingers crossed the weather stays sunny and not so darn rainy.  I'm happy to report my Iris patches are all blooming lovely purple flowers.  My lavender came back and is looking great.  Peony bush is quickly getting ready to bloom lovely giant pink poofs of beauty.  

Next up:  limoncello.  It's just about ready; this weekend I am going to finish it off and fill  the bottles!  Then summer can officially begin.  And so can another batch of limoncello.

How was your May?  Crazy like mine?  What are your plans for June?

Smoothies, Mowing, and Other Non-Related Stuff

I've joined the smoothie crowd and enjoying every darn one I drink.  In trying to cut down on gluten and dairy to see if they are issues (umm...yes) I tried a gluten free protein powder called tera's whey.  You can get chocolate or vanilla, so of course I have tried both. I  usually have the blueberry/banana/strawberry smoothie combo with protein powder and water.  Very tasty smoothies--although I have to eat something with it, cause I found out the hard way it doesn't keep me full for very long--even with 2 scoops of protein powder in the mix.

Along with the smoothies, I am trying really hard to avoid pasta.  So far, I am doing a good job.  When I do eat it, I can tell and it makes me more determined to just avoid it as much as possible.  Eating lots of protein, veggies, and fruit.  

I'm making limoncello.  This has left me with a dozen lemons without peels, so I've been drinking gallons of lemon-flavored water in the past few weeks.  Two more weeks of lemon peel/vodka infusion, then I'm adding simple syrup and we have touchdown.  I'll post pictures of the lovely summer drink when I have the finished project.

Yard.  Oh God, the yard.  Mowed for the first time tonight and it was a mess.  Filled in a few holes that have mysteriously appeared over the winter, fertilized and seeded.  Flowers this year will be simple and few.  I can see I will have to go back out this week and mercilessly kill weeds.  I hope they enjoy the next few days cause they won't see the sun rise on Saturday.  

Yesterday for Cinco de Mayo I made beergaritas.  I found them on Iowa Girl Eats  and may I say they will knock you on your ass?  Granted, the lime beer is pretty harmless, but add a few shots of hard liquor to it, discover the deliciousness of this combination, and you'll find yourself feeling pleasantly buzzed after 2 drinks.  And I can attest to the fact that eating guacamole and chips while sipping these drinks won't help slow down the booze to brain train.  And I can also say that they will make your boyfriend fall asleep on the couch and be out for at least an hour.  As Bud said this morning, "That is a two-limit drink."  Amen to that.  Let's just say I had a headache this morning.  Oops.  

Mother Nature has finally blessed us with warmer temps and sunshine for many days in a row.  It's nice to go outside without a coat on, and not have the heat on at night.  I'd like to say running has been wonderful, but so many things have been going on in my little corner of the world that I haven't been doing much of it.  But, since I mowed the yard tonight, I will have time to run after work tomorrow and before I get my hair cut.  I know my hairdresser just loves me appearing all sweaty with a lovely mop on my head.  

One crappy thing about warmer weather: open windows.  Open windows and neighbors who have a small child who cries all the damn time!  Jesus!  Feed that kid something to make it sleepy.  It's up past 10pm and cries all the time.  Drives me nuts, and forces me to shut my window.  Living out in the country is looking more and more appealing to me every week.

Color Me Rad Kansas City 5K

My sister and I traveled to Kansas City a few weeks ago to run the Color Me Rad 5K with my niece Amber and nephew Shawn.  No time on this run, no mile markers; we were all too busy getting colored dye dumped on us at every color station!  Luckily sunglasses were provided--kept that dye out of my eyes.

I did, for one brief morning, have purple boobs.  Inside my bra.  My sister had blue teeth.  My niece had orange hair.  It was so much fun!  Here are some of the official photos from our morning of color:

Michelle and I after the last color station

the whole gang

Can you tell Amber is the fittest of us all?  High jump!

Amber, me, Michelle, and Shawn:  4 Gerths that run!

We promptly went to our hotel, showered ( I could not get my hands into my hair until it was completely soaked with water), then went for BBQ.  A fun weekend spent with the kiddies.  Next run up:  The Marion Arts Festival 5K on May 18th.  No color bombs in this race.

Cooking Challenge 2013: Beer Battered Fish: How I Impressed My Boyfriend With My Mad Skills

My fish looks pretty damn good

I am still on my quest to actually eat fish.  This is a very long road for me--I am not a huge fish fan and probably never will be. I like to eat things that eat grass.   Bud loves fish, and I love Bud.  So, I have been making fish every other week or so for us--but pretty much just by sticking it in the oven with some kind of topping/sauce and baking it.

This time I went crazy and got a wild hair on my day off.  I called Bud and asked him if he wanted beer battered fish for supper.  Let's just say he was a bit excited and after hanging up, I thought "Shit!  What have I got myself into this time?"  

Enter  Paula Deen.  I figured if anyone knows how to fry something, it's her.  I found her recipe on Food Network, and it's so easy I had to keep rechecking it to make sure I wasn't missing something.  Nope:  beer, flour, seasoning.  Hot oil.  Fish.  Done.

What does make this a little different from other recipes is that you dip the fish into the batter, then into flour before frying.  The flour makes it look all crispy and ridgy looking--like something you'd get at a restaurant.  

Needless to say, Bud was bowled over by the fish.  He inhaled it.  Keeping it warm in the oven worked wonders--every piece I brought out of the oven--even 15 minutes after we started eating--was piping hot and steaming.  And it stayed crunchy.  

I used malt vinegar on my fish and I liked the taste.  I will definitely have to make my own tartar sauce; the stuff I bought tasted horrible.  Ick.  

Here's another look at my first--and certainly not last--attempt at beer battered fish:  I know my mad skills don't extend to camera work, but you get the idea:

By the way, I used cod.  And I made red potatoes seasoned with butter, garlic powder, oregano, salt & pepper.  I decided we had enough fried food with the fish.  

This would also make some tasty fried chicken strips and onion rings, too.

All This Rain is Making Me Nervous

It has been raining a ridiculous amount here in Iowa, and temps have not been anywhere near as warm as they should be.  We are permanently stuck in the upper 40's.  Sigh.  Even possible mixed snow/rain on Friday.  Really?

All this rain reminds me of the Spring of 2008 when we ended up with a devastating flood in Cedar Rapids that my city is still recovering and rebuilding from and trying to move away from those horrible memories.  We have our annual Run the Flood race in June to commemorate that awful time and all fees for the race are donated to local programs to help people who are still affected by the flood.  I didn't run this race last year, but this year I plan on doing so--it's a great race to run and my sister wants to run it this year, too.

All this rain has kept me from running outside pretty much all the time.  And when there is a nice day outside, I'm working!  Needless to say, I get the shame award for the yard that hasn't been cleaned up yet from the winter.  My  tulips and daffodils are pushing through all the junk anyway, and there is green out there.  

So what have I been doing?  Working, cleaning out that darn basement, and detrashing my house.  I have found more junk to toss that I ever even knew I had tucked away.  It's amazing what we can do without.  My method is simple: have I thought about this item at all in the last year?  No?  Then it's gone.  It's very cathartic.  

My sister and I have decided we aren't going to run the half-marathon in May.  Neither of us has been able to prepare; both of us are having leg problems--me my hamstring, her a lovely sciatic nerve issue.  Combined with the weather, it has stymied our plans.  When Michelle does run a half-marathon, I want her to be well prepared and enjoy the run.  Right now neither one of us would enjoy it at all.  I know how hard it is to run that 13.1 miles!  We're okay with this decision and instead will run shorter races this summer.  She's a single mom with 3 kids (one special needs child), two jobs, and not much time.  I admire her taking up exercise as a way to relieve stress and have some time to herself.  I feel like a slug.  I have all the time in the world, yet it seems to always be filled with projects, books, blogs, and things that keep me running around and pooped.  

So.  I do have some good news.  My other blog, http://bookaliciousbabe.blogspot.com was graciously awarded this lovely prize from http://storycartel.com:  Can I say how much this made my day?!

April! Yippee!! Is That Spring I Smell?

I have been reading through J.J. Virgin's The Virgin Diet and quite frankly it requires a level of commitment that I do not have right now.  But, I have learned a valuable thing from her that I will be carrying into April concerning my eating habits:

They suck.  I eat unconsciously all the time.  I eat stuff I don't even want to eat--it's there, so in it goes.  I've been running outside the past few days and it has been such a struggle.  I will admit it felt wonderful to pull out the Garmin, charge it up, and strap it on my wrist.  I told myself not to look at the time, but to look at distance.  Since I'm running around my neighborhood, I really use the Garmin just so I know how far I've gone, and how much more I have to go before I can go home.  I've been running without my iPod, since there are no sidewalks and I have to run in the streets.  It gives me a chance to listen to my breathing (Lord almighty I sound horrible!), hear birds sing, and be aware of being in that "bubble" of outsideness.  I don't know how else to describe it.  I managed to find a few streets that not only have nice inclines, but a few hills that require my legs to move past that ache.  I guess all those squats in Body Pump have helped me move past that awful burn of screaming muscles.

I've got approximately 7 weeks before my half-marathon, and have tentatively written down goals each week for long runs.  And with these goals, I'm starting tomorrow on a healthier eating schedule.  Pasta-out.  Breads--out.  Lots of veggies, hummus, eggs, and I'm going to try smoothies in the morning.  My friend C-Joy recommended a gluten-free protein powder--so of course I bought the chocolate flavor.  I really do feel that not eating so much wheat will help my guts a bit.  It's the first time I've trained for a race with the deliberate intent to cut out a lot of wheat.  We'll see if it helps keep me from the issues I've experienced before.  This is going to be so tough, but I've got nowhere to go but up.  I am also going to try really really hard to cut back on the dairy.  Occasional cheese is ok, but gosh, I so love it.  I found a recipe through Oxygen Magazine for egg muffins that looks so good!  Easy to prepare and keep ready for those quick breakfasts in the morning after workouts and before going to work.  

I'm feeling the call of Spring and am happy to be getting out, looking around, and making plans for the garden, patio, and exercise.  My life since October has felt like one long, dark, dreary event.  I am going to celebrate life and keep working on remaining optimistic for the future.  Still have those moments of absolute grief, but more and more moments of thinking of Patti with joy and smiles.  Oh, I wish she was here.  So badly.  She told me after my Savannah half-marathon that she would like to run one with me someday, so I expect her spirit to be with me in May.  I think her having wings will make her just a bit faster than me.  

Here's to daffodils, the smell of rain, and running in the great outdoors without freezing and being miserable.  Here's to driving with the window down, and grilling supper outside.  Have a great week everyone!