When Motivation Just Isn't There...

How is it that when I'm in the depths of being super busy and stressed, and feeling overwhelmed, I manage to get a lot of stuff ticked off my list? But when I slow down, and have plenty of time, I get super behind because my motivation just collapses? You'd think having less stress and more time would make me feel like I could tick so many things off my to do list. 

Nope. This doesn't work for me, as I'm discovering lately. I have days, even whole weeks, where I don't have any commitments, other than going to work. Weekends evenings are for Bud, but other than that I really don't have to be anywhere or attend any events. At first, this feels great! I get a breather! I don't have to feel rushed all the time. I get to read more. Tackle all those cleaning projects I've gotten behind on and now I've got the time. 

Except I don't do any of those things. I dink around on my computer, watch tv shows I don't really care about, and waste a lot of time. Last weekend I had a whole weekend where I just had one place I had to be, for a few hours. Okay. That left me with a lot of time to mow, clean the house, run some errands, and yes, even have time to dive into my reading list. I ended up just reading most of the weekend. No mowing when I should have, no house cleaning. So on Sunday night, I found myself happy I'd managed to finish 3 books, but still looking at an unmowed yard (which now looks bad thanks to the recent rain!) and a messy house. Frustrated and annoyed at myself for not getting my ass in gear and accomplishing something, anything, over the weekend. Pile the guilt on even more, when I know Bud worked at his projects all weekend. 

I'm still trying to find that middle ground. For so many years, I was so busy. Now not so much. I could make myself busy, seeing friends, going places, creating projects around the house.  But I don't want to be busy just to be busy. Busy should have a purpose. 

I've known for years that too much time is not my friend. In school, too much time to write a paper didn't spark that creativity-it was the hammer time that got the juices flowing, and ideas moving along. That's the fun of NaNoWriMo (you have 30 days to write a 50,000 word novel); you have to consistently work every day to put in the words or you get so far behind it's a bitch to catch up. Having friends over usually makes me clean in a frenzy the day before, even when I know a week ahead of time it's coming up. A deadline for reading a book usually has me dropping everything to meet that deadline. 

I'm in the middle of a motivation slump. How do you keep yourself moving, when sometimes all you want to do is just sit and do nothing? 

via GIPHY

My Plans for the Week Ahead--Probably Won't Stay This Way!

Flowers from my garden taken through a kaleidoscope 

Well, C-Joy in all her motherhood "got it togetherness" has already begun getting organized for the holidays.  Alas, with no child, or husband, I find my getting organized for the upcoming holidays less stressful than she has it.    Although, as one of those lucky retail managers C-Joy mentions, it means working 6 days a week and being exhausted and decidedly non-holidayish.  But, her blog has started me thinking about what I can do now, before the craziness begins, to keep the house and yard from becoming a ginormous mess.  It's amazing what one person can do to a house!

I am already finding some things hard to plan for, since Bud has begun his deer hunting season, and my schedule at work now includes working mid-shifts.  Both can play havoc with planning dinner, a night with friends, time with Bud,  or even my beloved and oh-so-necessary reading time.  Did I mention running?  Still have that half-marathon yet to go in October, and a family wedding weekend at the end of this month.

So starting tomorrow (working 11-7:30 today-uggh), I am making a list of must do this week stuff.  Top of the list:  mowing the yard.  I think it's been two weeks.  Luckily, the cooler weather has slowed down the rate of growth for the grass.  I'm also going to tackle some yard clean up--cutting down dead flowers and attempting to clean up the garage.  I think a bike ride will be in order, too.  And, dare I say, a trial run?  The leg still twinges, so I'm going to take it slow and with no hills.  Having fellow co-workers who also run, but have not this past week, has kinda made me forget a bit about it.  I think that's probably a good thing for my mental game!  Still working on getting all the books in my house up and on bookshelves.  It's harder than I thought.  And maybe, just maybe, a trial run at a cheese souffle this week.

Have a grand week everyone!

Vacation Day #2

So far the past few days I've watched the radar for upcoming storms, washed dishes, and read two books.  I've attended a Father's Day brunch, ate too much, and taken a few naps.  I've paid some bills and played Luxor 2 --I lost again.

I've gone outside, shouted "Yuck!  It's so humid!" so many times I've lost count, then gone back inside where the air is on and I'm much happier.

I've stared at my to-do list, and then set it back down.  I've made a few dinners for Bud and I, and watched another episode of True Blood.

I've taken my niece and nephew to the bookstore, and watched my nephew play the bongos for fun during a kid's event.  He refused to sing with the karaoke machine.  He can't sing when people are watching.  My niece, however, has no problem singing and belted out a few tunes.

He did, however, sing along to the Bee Gees in a women's clothing store and play air guitar.  I think it was the Cherry Pepsi he'd inhaled about an hour before.  It finally hit his system.  If only I had a video recorder!  I've got to figure out how to do more than answer my cell phone.  I know there are many hidden thingies  on it, I just have no clue how to use them.

Now I'm home again, sleepy from a mexican food lunch, and listening to a storm whip up outside.  Tomorrow is Tuesday.  I am making plans to actually accomplish something tomorrow.  I'm not sure what, though.

Running, perhaps?

After all, tomorrow is another day...