One Night in the Life of a Single Woman

Even though I am in a long term relationship with Bud, we don't live together, and so there are nights when we just don't see each other.  Usually this is work related, and if I'm not working, I see it as bonus reading time at home.  Don't get me wrong--I'd rather spend an evening with Bud, but books are a close second.  And sometimes I even read when he's here, watching one of his shows.

Tonight did not work out as a reading night.  It combined many odd moments, and a strange combination of tasks at home that I have just now realized would seem like something from a reality show.

So I left work, stopped at my sister's house, and then had to leave to go to Goodwill to find a baby outfit for my 35 year old baby doll Chrissy. Yes, you read correctly.  I guessed she was a 0-3 month old size baby (with a full head of auburn hair that grows when you pull it out of her head) and bought her a delightful pink summer outfit for $2.58.  I headed to Hy-Vee to get my "I get paid tomorrow!" groceries and missed the memo that tonight was the night to stand in a line at the Chinese counter in the Johnson Ave Hy-Vee.  It was insane there!  The line wrapped around the deli and into the bakery.  No Chinese food at Hy-Vee  is so good that it requires waiting in such a long line.  It was like the good 'ol "there's a blizzard coming!" scenarios we had this past winter.  Madness in the fresh fruit aisle.

I got home around 7pm and made some mint brownies for my lunch with C-Joy tomorrow.  Then, I roasted some tomatoes for a really yummy caprese salad that C-Joy will also have tomorrow for lunch.   All the while, I am watching "The Real Housewives of NYC" because tonight is the season ender.  That means you have to watch two  hours of old episodes to get to the new one.  And it was a classic!  LuAnn sang, Ramona renewed her vows, and Kelly stayed crazy.  I ran to the basement on a commercial break to find my Chrissy doll wrapped in a plastic garbage bag buck naked, but with a smile painted on her face!  Nine years in a basement can age a doll.  And I don't want to know what happened down there when I wasn't looking.  My Barbie 70's house is down there, too.  Right next to Chrissy.

After copious amounts of Orange Cleaner and paper towels, I got the smudges off her body and tackled her hair.  I had to find a brush, because I don't use a brush on my hair, and I had to dig around to find one.  This brush was meant for someone who has baby fine hair with no snarls.  If Chrissy had been a real child, it would have been an ugly mess.  I managed to get most of the snags out of her hair, but don't have any hair stuff to smooth down the bits of hair that are sticking up on the back of her head.  We'll just say she woke up from a nap.

Chrissy is my date to the midnight book release party we're having at work Friday night for the new Stephenie Meyer book The Brief Second Life of Bree Tanner.  We've had two other midnight release parties for her last two books, and they were a smash hit.  I don't expect a ginormous crowd tomorrow night, but am hopeful for a healthy crowd of people dressed as vampires and werewolves.  It should be lots of fun!  So Chrissy is starring tomorrow night as Renesme, who is the half vampire child of Edward and Bella.  The coloring fits, and the freakishly fast growth rate of their daughter also explains the long auburn hair on Chrissy and the creepy smile.  She can read minds, too.

Chrissy is going to stay in my living room tonight.  I will watch where I put her before bed, and hope to God in the morning she has not moved.

If so, I am in trouble.
I am in my own horror movie.

Wait--did she just move?!