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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Trying On Clothes Makes Me Want To Drink

I think that every clothing store should have a bar set up in the dressing room so those of us who don't fit into any of the clothes we try on can get a shot of alcohol.  This will keep us from ripping out our hair and gnashing our teeth.  I almost did both of those today trying to find shorts. 

It is hard for me to look at myself in the mirror anymore.  My legs are so heavy and gross looking that it shocks me to think they are my legs.  I always had "chicken legs" and never gave a thought to wearing shorts.  Now I don't want to wear shorts.  I am in denial.  I don't know how my legs got so fat--but I'm guessing that a metabolism that has come to a complete halt is part of the problem.  And I don't exercise regularly, that's for sure.  It's got me starting to look at everyone's legs, no matter how old they are, to compare mine to theirs.  

I think of how many miles I would have to run to slim down my legs; how many pump classes I have to take each week to build that muscle and burn that fat.  It's depressing.  

I have shorts from last year, but they don't fit.  They're about 4 pounds off the mark for me to wear them.  I can sit at home and ponder this for days, but the only solution is to get off my ass and work harder than I ever have to carve away at those fat legs.  I understand women are too hard on themselves and how they look.  I get that.  I can be like that, too.  But I don't think I'm being too hard on myself this time.  I wasn't hard enough before when I should have been seeing the signs of inactivity, eating too much, and aging.  

I have taken a step that is guaranteed to make me feel like a complete wimp, crabby, and teary:  an 8 week course through the YMCA that is similar to Cross-fit.  It meets 3 times a week from 5:45 AM to 6:30 AM outside.  We'll be tossing tires, working with ropes, kettle bells, and all sorts of other painful methods of exercise.  I've already paid, so I'm locked into this adventure.  It starts June 10th.  I am excited to challenge myself--and maybe this will be the thing that helps me see results and sets me on a path to better health.  

So, I still want bars in dressing rooms.  I only think that is fair.  And fix the damn lighting, will ya?  I have never looked so old and washed out in my life!

Find it here

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Where, Oh Where Did May Go? And How To Get Lost At A Race

I know.  I haven't posted in forever.  That's because my life in May was pretty uneventful.  I think the most exciting thing I did was run on the wrong course for my 5K last weekend.  Yep.  

My sister and I signed up for the Marion Arts Festival months ago to run the half marathon.  Then we realized how ill-prepared we were (as in no running/training) so we changed it to the 5K.  We could do that.  

We walk to the event last Saturday morning--it was perfect outside, but promised to be pretty warm and muggy later on in the day.  My sister lives very close to downtown Marion, so the walk only took a few minutes.  We wandered around, waiting for the start.  Can I say there were an enormous amount of people waiting to run?  Giant hordes.  The race is no long a small race, which takes a lot of the fun out of it.  I miss that about this race.  

We followed the swell of people who were walking over to another street to start the race.  Ok.  It was so loud we couldn't hear much of anything, and everyone was wearing the same race bibs, so no distinction between half marathon and 5K runners. Boom!  We are off and running.  

We ran the wrong course.  For 5 frickin' miles, people.  I hit the 3 mile mark and was waaaaay out in the middle of nowhere--not running past Walgreen's and through the finish line.  My sister had run ahead of me, so I had no idea where she was.  I figured out I was on the wrong course pretty quickly, but had no option but to keep moving forward.  I was a bit freaked out--no cell phone, no way to find my sister.  And I was pretty far from the finish line.  

I turned a corner, and saw my sister standing at the water stop.  Phew.  She was with another woman who was also on the wrong course.  A pretty cool dude at the water stop was trying to find a sag wagon to pick us up.  Guess what?  There wasn't one.  He said there were many people who had made the same mistake, so we didn't feel too stupid.  

We started walking back since there wasn't any option for a ride.  We didn't get far when a man driving a U-Haul picking up cones offered us a ride back into Marion.  We gladly accepted.  And he too, said many people had taken the wrong route.  He dropped us off near my sister's house and we walked home.  We never even made it back downtown, never crossed the finish line, never got to eat goodies afterwards.  Phooey.

I have never run on a wrong course before in a race.  The actual 5K was on the opposite side of Marion from where we ran, and started at the same time.  There were no clear directions, we couldn't hear announcements, and nothing at all in my goodie bag about course maps or instructions.  Boo.  I really think races must always include maps of the courses and information about the race in the bags we pick up for the race.  Bud has used those maps many times when he's ridden his bike along with me as I run the races.  Race officials shouldn't expect participants to print off information on the internet.  

In good news, the annual 8K race on July 4th is going to be back downtown this year, so I plan on running it--after taking the last 3 years off.  I love this race.  There was major construction in downtown Cedar Rapids for the past few years due to the 2008 flood, and streets were blocked off.  Moving the race sucked and I didn't like the new course.  It was my mini-protest.  But it's back on the old route this year, so I am happy!  I'm going to sign up!  I have one month to be able to run 5 miles.  I have work to do.  

May has been an extremely busy month, for reasons I can't share right now.  Needless to say, my reading, flower planting, and usual Spring clean up have been delayed and I'm getting antsy to move it along.  Memorial weekend I am finally going to buy flowers, get some herbs planted, and set up the back patio.  Fingers crossed the weather stays sunny and not so darn rainy.  I'm happy to report my Iris patches are all blooming lovely purple flowers.  My lavender came back and is looking great.  Peony bush is quickly getting ready to bloom lovely giant pink poofs of beauty.  

Next up:  limoncello.  It's just about ready; this weekend I am going to finish it off and fill  the bottles!  Then summer can officially begin.  And so can another batch of limoncello.

How was your May?  Crazy like mine?  What are your plans for June?

Monday, May 6, 2013

Smoothies, Mowing, and Other Non-Related Stuff


I've joined the smoothie crowd and enjoying every darn one I drink.  In trying to cut down on gluten and dairy to see if they are issues (umm...yes) I tried a gluten free protein powder called tera's whey.  You can get chocolate or vanilla, so of course I have tried both. I  usually have the blueberry/banana/strawberry smoothie combo with protein powder and water.  Very tasty smoothies--although I have to eat something with it, cause I found out the hard way it doesn't keep me full for very long--even with 2 scoops of protein powder in the mix.

Along with the smoothies, I am trying really hard to avoid pasta.  So far, I am doing a good job.  When I do eat it, I can tell and it makes me more determined to just avoid it as much as possible.  Eating lots of protein, veggies, and fruit.  

I'm making limoncello.  This has left me with a dozen lemons without peels, so I've been drinking gallons of lemon-flavored water in the past few weeks.  Two more weeks of lemon peel/vodka infusion, then I'm adding simple syrup and we have touchdown.  I'll post pictures of the lovely summer drink when I have the finished project.

Yard.  Oh God, the yard.  Mowed for the first time tonight and it was a mess.  Filled in a few holes that have mysteriously appeared over the winter, fertilized and seeded.  Flowers this year will be simple and few.  I can see I will have to go back out this week and mercilessly kill weeds.  I hope they enjoy the next few days cause they won't see the sun rise on Saturday.  

Yesterday for Cinco de Mayo I made beergaritas.  I found them on Iowa Girl Eats  and may I say they will knock you on your ass?  Granted, the lime beer is pretty harmless, but add a few shots of hard liquor to it, discover the deliciousness of this combination, and you'll find yourself feeling pleasantly buzzed after 2 drinks.  And I can attest to the fact that eating guacamole and chips while sipping these drinks won't help slow down the booze to brain train.  And I can also say that they will make your boyfriend fall asleep on the couch and be out for at least an hour.  As Bud said this morning, "That is a two-limit drink."  Amen to that.  Let's just say I had a headache this morning.  Oops.  

Mother Nature has finally blessed us with warmer temps and sunshine for many days in a row.  It's nice to go outside without a coat on, and not have the heat on at night.  I'd like to say running has been wonderful, but so many things have been going on in my little corner of the world that I haven't been doing much of it.  But, since I mowed the yard tonight, I will have time to run after work tomorrow and before I get my hair cut.  I know my hairdresser just loves me appearing all sweaty with a lovely mop on my head.  

One crappy thing about warmer weather: open windows.  Open windows and neighbors who have a small child who cries all the damn time!  Jesus!  Feed that kid something to make it sleepy.  It's up past 10pm and cries all the time.  Drives me nuts, and forces me to shut my window.  Living out in the country is looking more and more appealing to me every week.