|Get the 4 pretty ponies of the Apocalypse here|
This is what I've learned about the End Times that will be occurring on Saturday, May 21st:
Pets will be left behind, but there is a service to take care of them.
An earthquake will start the destruction at 5PM Central Standard Time. This means I still have to run my 5K in the morning. Dang it.
97% of all people will die. Ok. Who wants to survive that?
God will only take the 'chosen ones' to heaven. No thanks. I don't want to be stuck in eternity with uber crazy people who think they're more special than the rest of humanity. I'm pretty sure I won't be a 'chosen one'. Phew.
I won't make my 100 book challenge this year.
Here are my questions:
Does this mean that a zombie apocalypse is off the books?
Should I go ahead and plant my flowers seeds anyway?
Should I just lay around, drink beer, and eat whatever I want for the next few days?
Can I say whatever I want to customers at work tomorrow, since it will be my last day of work before the world ends?
Does this mean Obama's birth certificate just doesn't matter? Finally?!
Cheers everyone! The man who says the bible picked 5/21/2011 as judgement day also picked 1994 as the end of the world. Oops. Eventually he may get it right, but I don't think it's Saturday. Send the four pretty ponies of the Apocalypse back!