My self sabotage is just flat out amazing to me. I lay in bed at night and plan what I want to do the next day before work, after work, and, if I don't work, how to get some projects done around the house.
Yet when I wake up in the morning, that planning guru, the motivator Ms. Caboo, has disappeared into Slothful Sue. She still has the compulsion to do something, anything, but Weenie Girl has taken possession and the phrase "I'll do it later" runs through my head. Until later is gone, and it's too late. Then Pissy Ms. Caboo appears, annoyed as hell that the other two didn't move it and at least do one thing! So that's been my weekend. It's my last weekend off til January, and I've managed to not rake, (too cold and windy), not clean the house, fold clothes, or wash the windows. I have, however, managed to finish a book, watch some TV, become seriously sleepy after lemon drops on Friday night, and wine on Saturday with C-Joy, and have taken to falling asleep on the couch around 6PM every night.
This is what I planned to do today, before I have to go to a book signing tonight for work:
The Y opens at noon today. It's 11:58. Don't think I'll make it. I could go to visit my sister and her family, but that would mean getting dressed, putting in the contact lenses, and driving somewhere. Or, I could fold those clothes. Knowing I have to be at work at 4pm and work for a few hours tonight (which is really sitting at a table selling cookbooks to adoring fans of Art Smith) had made my motivation drop to zero. I'm a bit stuck with my novel, and I'm trying to push through to my magical 25,000 words before midnight tonight. I have about 4500 words to go!
So I'll make a deal with myself. I will stay home, and do sit-ups, push-ups, squats, lunges, and planks. I'll make a nice lunch for myself, since I'm not sure where or when supper will be later tonight. I will set a 15 minute timer, and fold my clothes and put them away.
Do you ever waste a whole day, and then wonder where the heck it went? I've already made lists for the next few days. On a bonus side, I've eaten three chocolate cupcakes in the past few days. I'm now tired of them, and have no desire to eat the rest. I don't know what happened there; my body has an infinite capacity for chocolate cupcakes. I'll save them for Bud. Bud! Haven't seen him for over a week! He's been out of town, and it's been very odd. Hopefully, tomorrow night we'll get together and fill each other in on our past week away from each other. And I'll ask to borrow the leaf blower. Heck no, I'm not going to move all those leaves by myself! Years of doing that has made me appreciate the leaf blower. I'm all for exercise, but raking a backyard that is ankle deep in leaves will render me incapable of moving the rest of the week.
Have I managed to put you on the edge of your seat with anticipation?! Will I crash and burn again, or actually function this week, and make a dent in my to-do lists? Sometimes having too much time on my hands guarantees I will not do a damn thing. Off to fold clothes starting.....now!