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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Mom and Dad--Not!

Bud and I went to a place tonight where the person in charge assumed we were "Mom and Dad".  I'm not sure what gave our secret away--perhaps the fact that we had no children in tow?  That there are no wedding rings  on our hands?  That I gave our vital information under my first and last name, and not his?  

After being called "Dad" numerous times, I stopped laughing and told the lady "Um...we're not a Mom or Dad."  
"As a matter of fact, we have no children, and aren't even married."  

"Oh, how sad."  

Yep, that's what she said.  And then proceeded to call us both Mom and Dad throughout our adventure.  Bud even told her his first name more than once, but no, he was Dad.  I was Mom.  

I told Bud it's a good thing we didn't bring a baby in with us, since we would have immediately been bumped up to Grandpa and Grandma.  Now really, I know we're not twenty-somethings, but we are not Grandparent material, either.  I looked for proof in the results of our adventure, and nope, no support hose or suspenders anywhere near either one of us.  

Being called Dad freaked Bud out--it was a first time deal for him.  I said, "Aw, heck, I've been called Mom since I was a teenager--just put a woman next to a child, and people will always think she's  the Mom. " When I tell people, "No, I'm the Auntie" they give me weird looks--like if I didn't birth 'em why in the world would I want to take a kid anywhere?  Well, for sheer entertainment value, of course.  Then they go back to their real parents.  After I've sent brainwashing materials shooting through their skulls through the sheer power of my voice.  Really, an Auntie's work is never done.  I still do it to my oldest nieces and nephews, who are in their late 20's and early 30's.  I think it might finally be sticking.  Either that, or I've severely compromised their brain cells.  

So I told Bud, after this experience, and 8 years together,  since we are now Mom and Dad, could I call him my boyfriend?  The experience meant we were stuck together.  He just laughed.  I think I'll keep him.  

Not our nuclear family!


  1. why do people assume that if you don't have children, life must be sad... that so irks me... I don't have children, I chose not too, I am the best auntie you will ever meet, but I like my life without kidlets, I get to go and do and be whatever I want and I get to be totally selfish at times... I think I am blowing steam out my ears... LOL

  2. Oh my dear Ms. Caboo, Would it be weird if I said the I just love you?? I love your attittude toward life and the way you can turn what some people would fester about for months, into something that makes me smile.

    I fully understand that at the time it's probably infuriating and frustrating and that you'd probably like to punch that person's lights out. But when you write a post about it, you put this entirely different, perfectly lovely sarcastic spin on it that always makes me giggle.

    You and a couple of the other bloggers that I follow religiously (Ms. Tracy for one) have this gift of making the most out of the stupid (and often highly insensetive) things that other people say and do. I can't ever seem to do that "on paper". It really is a gift. You and Tracy can be honorary Aunties to my daughter any day! (at 26, she's pretty easy to spoil now... she gets all weepy when someone gives her gas money!)

    I personally find it beyond rude for someone to just assume that you are something you're not and then say "Oh, how sad" when they find out they were wrong. I haven't had this particular scenario happen to me, but I've had plenty of run-ins with the lobotomized masses that have left me seeing red for weeks.

    Well, hopefully, I won't come back tomorrow and find that I've been moved to the "creepy, weird stalking blogger" blog list. I just couldn't find a better way to say that I'm tickled that I found your blog and I hope you don't ever stop writing it.


  3. It certainly could have been worse, like "father & daughter", "brother & sister", calling Bud "mom"........

    My students call me mom & grandma frequently, the worse was being called "grandpa" though :-P

  4. Oh, I have gotten past the annoyance of it--I quite enjoy setting people right. I helps remind me not to assume anything about other people. I usually ask what their status is, so I don't look like an idiot.
    Martha: thank you for such sweet compliments! I am always happy to make people smile! And yes, I have unlimited Auntie capacity, so more kids are always welcome!
    Tracey: I'm thinking people are going to have to realize real quick that the usual family isn't around much anymore; there are so many different blends! Would it have been better if I'd told her we actually had 10 kids, but lived in separate houses and never married? I think she may have flipped her lid!
    C-Joy: I don't mind being called Mom--by a kid--this is way better than having Red Hat Ladies ask me if I'm a member--this happened when I was barely 30! Talk about seeing red!


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