A Week As A Single Girl

I am officially an old lady at 45.  I am disgusted that's what I've discovered, but I think it's true.  While my darling Bud has been busy busy at work all week, and planning on going out of town by himself on Saturday, I have been boyfriend free since Sunday night.  Yes, almost a whole week without my better half.  


And this is what I have done:


Bar hopping every night, shopping for shoes and purses, and sipping Cosmos.


NOT!!


I have been reading books, planting my bargain priced perennials, and falling asleep by 8 PM.  And running a few days this week, although I pulled a groin muscle pushing a table around at work on Sunday, so my leg hurts and I've taken a few days off from running.  I'm such a dinkus.


And now it's damn hot outside.  We went from a lovely 75 degrees to 89 today.  I'm contemplating going out for a short run when it gets closer to dusk.  We'll see if the fantastically good beer I'm drinking (Orange Blossom Creme Ale) will put me to sleep before 6 pm for a short nap.  But I really really do want to go for a run.  If only to feel sweaty and like I did something today.


I was looking at a rag mag yesterday and saw a lovely picture of a 50 year old Gina Gershon in a black bikini looking smokin' hot.  I felt slightly ill.  I don't know why I think a 50 year old should be in a mumu.  What the heck is wrong with my thinking?  If I could wear a black string bikini at 50 and not send everyone screaming into shark infested waters, I think I probably would.  So why do I think I never will?  Hell.  


Bud fondly recalls the yellow bikini I wore many years ago, when our relationship was fresh and new, and he had a thinner girlfriend.  He was heartbroken when I told him I tossed that bikini years ago.  I had no idea the impact I made on his brain when I wore that, and it makes me kinda sad that I never knew just how much he liked it.  I know we should all be strong women, and only work towards a great bod and health for ourselves.  But really, it's much more fun when your man gets all freaked out (in a nice way) cause you're looking good.  After all, if there's no one to admire and appreciate it besides myself, what the heck is the point?  


So yes.  I have started over on my 50 crunches a day regimen, started taking my vitamins again (this is really really hard to remember), and striving to eat fresh fruits and veg every day.  My 8 K is in a few weeks, and I'm a bit panicked.  But--I have done this before, I will get through it, and as long as no pictures are taken of me actually doing the 8K, I will be alright.  


As for a bikini:  well, it would be wonderful to be able to wear one again without being embarrassed by the body in it.  And who knows--if Bud marries me, I may have a goal to work towards:  a bikini honeymoon.  Otherwise, if no marriage and we just end up living in sin, well, that will be a one piece sitting in a jacuzzi at a Days Inn somewhere in the Midwest.