Actually, there's nothing here that you should care about, I just thought that title would grab your attention.
Two attempted nights at home with Bud have failed--he's had last minute things pop up, which meant not coming over til much later than planned. Keeping a stiff upper lip (with a bit of a quiver) that soon we will actually have a night together that involves a lovely meal and spending some quality time together. He still hasn't even tried my two ice cream concoctions! (which means I can't eat them, cause I would eat it all and he'd have none to try). I am being very patient, but the Bananas Foster ice cream is calling my name. It's ridiculously good. I have put my cookbook away so I'm not tempted to try something else this week. Well, maybe Saturday...
Running has been pretty crappy this summer and I am so disappointed I can't dwell on it or I'll cry. My plan of having a carefree summer of running when I want, building my strength on hills, and enjoying it have crashed and burned. I pulled a muscle over a week ago, and it still hurts. So much that I tried running yesterday morning before work, and I ended up walking most of the time. I'm giving myself until Saturday, when I have a day off and I'm going to attempt to get in a 5 mile run. I am now officially panicking over the 4th of July 8K race that is less than 2 weeks away. I will run that race, but not like I had hoped. My friend Michael has already run the route, and he tells me to just run it for practice. I reminded him again that I don't feel comfortable running in that particular part of town by myself! I have read another account of a woman runner being murdered while out on a run. I know chances are small, but I would rather not take the risk and put myself in a situation like that. Cedar Rapids is not a giant metropolis, but bad people are everywhere, and it can and does happen here. If I were a man, I would confidently run at night, or run by myself in otherwise *ahem* questionable parts of town. Instead, I will wait til race day, when thousands of other racers can accompany me on the route. I will keep plugging along, and remind myself that it is okay to have a time where running just isn't the bright shinning experience I am aiming for every day.
Creatively, I am a dead space. Like a black hole of non-creativity. I feel like I lost my bearings in May and have yet to get my shit together. Thinking that week's staycation is required pretty soon. Very lucky to have 4 weeks of vacation a year. I've burned two, with another week in September already planned. Since I'm not going anywhere else this year, I may have to take this time off soon--for my well being and the sake of my house! Do you ever just want to close off the world and be quiet for awhile? I'm approaching that pretty rapidly.
So...July needs to be a better month for me. Ticking off that "to-do" list, setting my house (inner and outer) in order, and taking a moment to breathe. Running for the joy of it, and that feeling of accomplishment after every run. Clearing out unnecessary "stuff" and hitting restart. I can do this. And with an ice cream maker, and dreams of sorbet floating in my head, I will have delicious treats for Bud every week. I am pretty positive he will just love me to death for giving him dessert every night he's here. Yep.