This is how I've felt many times this week. And Bud can attest to my battle to stay on course with a 10 day cleanse that has denied my body all the good things in life while making it function on only "clean" foods: veggies, fruit, and meat.
I hate it. I have had a few internal meltdowns, and I have made some boo-boos. I even went for a late night limo ride on Wednesday night with friends (friend's husband turned 40) and was given a plastic cup of margarita. I caved to peer pressure and I drank it. And felt horribly wretched. It felt like someone had given me an IV of pure sugar. It made me kinda queasy. That's the only sugar I've had this week besides the actual sugar in fruit. The next day, in penance for my horrible sin, I only drank water and followed the cleanse to the letter. I have a canker sore in my mouth from drinking so much water with lemon and using lemon juice in everything I eat. I still love lemons, but I want them with pasta, mixed with olives and goat cheese on a baguette, and in a cake!
I have three days left on the cleanse portion, then I get to leave it behind and continue on the next 14 days, where my diet can open up a bit--and I can drink coffee again! But still no bread or dairy. Not drinking pop had proven to be a non-issue, since I don't drink it much anyway. The only dairy I really miss is parmesan cheese! And I do miss eating bruschetta. I have ached for a giant slice of chocolate cake, too. And working at a place with a cafe that regularly bakes cookies, brews coffee, and makes pizzas has its moments. And I can't avoid the cafe, since as a manager I have to check on them throughout my shift. It is taking nerves of steel!
I joined the fabulous Cinderita in her quest to do 50 crunches every day for 100 days. It's actually pretty simple and takes very little time. I will have hard abs under all this fat! And I've been running since I've got another 5K in two weeks and I know my sister is going to kick my ass at this race. Hills, hills, hills.
So I'm a bit crabby. Have I lost any weight? I don't really know. Pants feel a bit looser around my waist, but nothing drastic. My gut doesn't feel icky at all, so I guess not eating the dairy and "white stuff" does have an effect on my digestive system. This will not stop me, however, from diving into a giant wedge of cheese, drinking a bottle of wine, and stuffing my face with a baguette at the end of this month! I just know I will suffer for it. But I'm okay with that.